


Paradoxial Pranking

by theauthorandtheartist



Series: Four Swords and Eight Brothers [2]
Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: And easily startled, And kinda stupid sometimes, Blame the Discord, Everyone else is there, Flashbacks, Fluff, Gen, I'm not used to writing fluff so we'll see how this goes, Mask is clumsy, Paradox, Pettiness, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Revenge, Time Travel, Tooth Rotting Fluff, Twilight is the unaware conduit of a lot of this pettiness, but only mentioned, but we love him, pettiness abounds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:07:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28495836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theauthorandtheartist/pseuds/theauthorandtheartist
Summary: The Hero of Time is an enigma. He is calm and collected at all times, and no one -except maybe his wife- quite knows what makes him tic.Some people are okay with this, and consider him a valuable friend regardless. Others take this as a challenge, trying again and again to disprove his self-given title of "unprankable." So far none of their attempts have worked.However, this stoic hero is not as infallible as he'd like you to believe, and one being is ready to play the long con to take advantage of this.After all, who else would be better to prank the Hero of Time...Than the Hero of Time.
Relationships: Four & Hyrule & Legend & Sky & Time & Twilight & Warriors & Wild & Wind (Linked Universe), Link & Navi (Legend of Zelda), The Hero's Spirit | Hero of Time | Golden Wolf & Link, Time & Twilight (Linked Universe)
Series: Four Swords and Eight Brothers [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1938187
Comments: 15
Kudos: 127





	Paradoxial Pranking

Moonlight filtered between the tall canopy of leaves, illuminating the smallest clearing where two warriors fought. Blades clashed, steel on rusted steel, as the heroes of past and present threw themselves into the ring. An imp snored loudly on a tree branch far above, too bored to spend any brain cells watching the exchange. 

The larger figure, an old stalfos in rusty armor, fell back from the young hero’s strike, using the moment of vulnerability to knock the blade from the youth's extended arm. The young swordsman growled in frustration, straightening himself and exhaling sharply through his slightly pointed teeth. 

If the stalfos had any facial expression besides  _ skull _ , it would be gazing down in barely hidden fondness yet creeping concern at his protégé. The young man grabbed his sword and widened his stance, glaring into empty eye sockets. 

"Enough." The skeleton's voice was rough and gravelly, exactly what you'd expect from someone who came from six feet under. He sheathed his massive sword, settling his old bones down against an oak. "You are getting angry. You get sloppy when you're angry. Come, we will take a short break and resume promptly." 

The hero frowned, the imp snored, and the stalfos patted the grass. 

"I'm not angry." He pouted, plopping down with a huff and hugging his legs. "Just tired." 

The skeleton hummed through his teeth, his single, glowing eye staring into the child's very soul. "Of course." 

They shared a moment of silence, broken only by the imp's loud breathing and the faint forest noises surrounding them. A squirrel scampered across the field and crawled up the stalfos' rib cage and onto the tree. The mentor paid it no mind, bringing his one eye up to gaze upon the sleeping imp in the tree adjacent. 

Gradually, the hero calmed, and after a few minutes he was up and ready to begin again. The old soldier was not. Though the boy was no longer angry, the mood was still grim and in desperate need of lifting. 

A not-so-distant memory resurfaced, and the skeleton's teeth clicked together in a skinless attempt at a grin. 

The stalfos stood, bony fingers clutching a handful of dirt. The boy waited, but it made no move to unsheathe his weapon to continue what they'd begun. Another long sigh left its ribcage, the bones rattling as the air passed between. 

"Pup," The boy stood at attention at the nickname. It was only ever used when the Shade was about to tell him something important. "There are some things you are taught, and some things that need no teaching. But there are a few that need to be taught but are not, for we assume our students already know them." It paused, and leveled its anxious pupil with the driest look it could muster. "These are the things that are most dangerous."

The boy gulped, gripping his sword tighter. 

"For example," it paused for effect, then turned and chucked the gravel as hard as he could towards the imp's tree. Just as planned, the stones sailed upwards then curved down, showering the little twili in a cloud of dust and debris. The girl shrieked, inhaling the dirt and falling from her branch and onto the grass with a thump. The string of profanity that she let loose was very unbefitting of a princess, though she'd never let that stop her before. 

Above the loud cursing and threats, the mentor turned to look at his shellshocked pupil. "Always look out for raining pebbles. You never know when one might catch you." 

A beat, then the boy stifled a smile. Then a giggle. Then he couldn't hide it anymore and began chortling at his furious friend's expense. The stalfos joined in the revelry, its rib cage rattling with the force of his guffaws. 

As it gazed down upon its descendent, it considered its latest mission a job well done. 

The "raining pebbles" soon became an inside joke between them, showering each other in dirt given every opportunity while shouting "watch out!" At each other. The first few times it happened, the stalfos had glanced around and asked him if he'd seen any fairies around, but it soon grew used to the phrase and even gave it himself on several occasions. 

Spurred on by this unique event, their visits became longer and longer, becoming not just a class of teacher and student, but a gathering between friends as well. Often, after they had finished their spar for the day, the two of them would sit under an oak and chat, dutifully ignoring the imp's jabs and complaints. 

It was nice, albit familiar, and the Shade wouldn't trade it for the world. 

* * *

It was raining in Wild's hyrule. That was not unusual. They had hidden in a cave to escape it. That was not unusual. Sky and Legend had argued and dinner was a silent affair. That was  _ highly _ unusual. 

Twilight glanced around at his tense companions, mind reeling on what to do now. Sky had retired to bed not five minutes ago, leaving the rest of them in awkward silence as the veteran fumed in the corner. None had dared speak to him after the trainwreck that was the last conversation, opting instead to let him stew in his anger and cool off. 

Unfortunately, this also left the cave quiet and so very,  _ very  _ uncomfortable to be in. Their hearty mushroom risotto was delicious as usual, but save to thank the cook no one had much to say while they ate.

The tension was so thick you could've cut it with one of Wild's battered kitchen swords. 

They needed a pick me up. Badly. 

A tiny rock fell from the ceiling, bouncing off Time's armor with a small but totally audible " _ plink!" _

Silence. 

Then, out of nowhere, Twilight started to laugh. 

At first, he didn't even know why he was laughing and began to trail off, then the image of a grinning skull and a furious twili reminded him as his giggles returned tenfold. The others all stared at him incredulously, Legend even snapping out of his sulk to raise a slightly concerned eyebrow. 

"Pup…" Time inhaled as Twilight only laughed harder at the nickname, his stomach starting to hurt from the force. "...Pup are you okay?" 

He nodded, trying desperately to calm himself at least a little so he could somewhat explain himself and defend his sanity. Holding up a finger, he grabbed three large gulps of air and grinned, looking up at Time from behind long bangs. 

"Looks like you-" 

He giggled, interrupting himself.

"Looks like you need to watch out for raining pebbles." 

Only a snicker this time, he was getting better. The smile on his face was the biggest it had been since he'd bid his mentor adeu, the old joke still holding charm after all these years. Moreso, since he'd not heard it in so long. 

Time still looked confused. "Pup-" 

He held up another finger, still grinning. "You never know when they'll sneak up and catch you!" 

The others burst into conversation as Twilight resumed his guffaws, speculating on what the meaning of that seemingly random sentence could possibly be. Warriors resolved with Wild to perform a sanity check on him later, and Four offered to conduct it. Hyrule, Wind, and a much more sociable Legend began to theorize the definition, growing increasingly frustrated as time went on. 

Time looked like he'd been slapped, eyes wide and mouth ajar. Twilight was too preoccupied to wonder why. 

He still giggled in the corner, though the histarics were finally dying down. His midriff pulsed in protest. It had been a while since he'd laughed like that. 

Slowly but surely, dinner returned to its usual conversation. Save for a couple confused glances in his direction, and of course Time staring a hole through the back of his head, no one really brought up the incident again until much later when Legend had asked what was wrong with him mentally (though, not in so nice of words). 

His only reply to the masses was, "an inside joke between me and an old friend." He refused to elaborate out of privacy and pettiness, even if it gained him several weird looks.

* * *

A small child, only barely nine years of age, stood at the summit of the most dangerous place in Hyrule. He gazed fondly out over the noontime sky, debating whether he should get out his ocarina, if only to see the sunset. The boy -more widely known as the Hero of Time- always needed a small break in adventuring after visiting a great fairy, their huge personalities and affectionate nature always leaving him drained and uncomfortable. 

That was his first visit to this specific one, and so he'd needed a few more minutes than usual. Even though they all looked the same, he wished they'd invest in something more...modest. He was only a child, he did not need to see  _ all of that. _

He'd rather look at a sunset. 

His fingers twitched towards his ocarina. 

"Don't you dare!" His guardian fairy zoomed out of his hat, hovering before his face and shaking a tiny finger at him. "You are  _ not  _ using the ancient and powerful song of the sun in order to enjoy the view. It's plenty pretty just the way it is!" 

He huffed, fingers twitching again, and she bopped him on the nose. "Hey! Listen!" She bopped him again. "It's rude to ignore someone talking to you!" 

The hero rolled his eyes, dutifully obeying his fairy and stepping away from the edge. He had to head back to Goron city to stock up on bombs pretty soon, but he loathed to leave his moment of serenity. 

He sighed, turning away fully. The mountain pass below him rumbled, sending huge boulders crashing down to the cratered stone. Adjusting the heavy hylian shield on his back, he set off, swinging his legs over the side and beginning his long climb. 

The mountain rumbled, but the boy knew he was safe. The boulders never fell close to the ledge. 

The fairy flew off a little ways, scouting the quickest path down as was their tradition. She wouldn't be long, he just had to keep climbing. 

A jolly tune slipped past his lips, the humming a welcome distraction from the massive height and the falling boulders below. He wasn't scared, just cautious. 

Something hit him in the head, interrupting him mid-chorus and startling him to Hylia and back. He cried out, stepping back away from the perceived threat and waving his arms out wildly. 

_ Oh wait- _

The boy fell. He called frantically for his fairy, tumbling downwards and squeezing his eyes shut. Pain flared from where his bare skin brushed against the rocks jutting out from the wall as he somehow managed to completely avoid every other possible ledge to land on. 

He distantly registered his fairy's voice calling from above, but panic had overwritten all sense of reason and he couldn't make it out. His shrill, prepubescent scream was foreign even to his own ears, as he scrambled frantically to grab the wall but only succeeded in tearing up his hands. 

Suddenly, floor. 

His back hit the rocky ledge hard, knocking the air from his lungs and sending spots swimming across his vision. Winded, the boy decided that this was his new favorite spot, and he would not be moving a single inch away from this position. Hyrule be damned. 

He groaned, covering his crimson face in his hands. Sure, falling down a mountain hurt. Quite a lot actually. But that was  _ nothing  _ compared to the pain of embarrassment knowing that he, the hero, had almost died due to a  _ stray rock. _

__ And his fairy had  _ seen it. _

"Link!" The pixie flitted nervously about his face, her concerned inquiries mixed evenly with breathless giggles. She wiped a tear from her eye, a new wave of laughter befalling her at his expression. "Are-are you okay? Th-that was quite the fall you took." 

"Ugh." He sat up and buried his face in his knees. The tips of his ears burned, and he wasn't sure if it was from sunburn or humiliation. 

"Why did you fall again? We killed all the skulltulas already, so there really shouldn't be any reason for you to-" 

"Hyah!" He cut her off, hopping to his feet and running straight into the midst of the volcanic eruption. He silently prayed to the goddess that a boulder would crush him and end this misery. 

As if Hylia had heard him, the mountain began to shake. 

His fairy quickly caught up to him, cackling. "Look out Link! Don't let the rocks get you!" 

"Pah!" He spat, sprinting across the debris field as fast as his little legs would take him, his fairy continued to warn him of oncoming boulders. However, now he couldn't figure out if she was teasing or legitimately trying to help him anymore. 

A rock exploded just barely to his right and he yelped as the shock wave pushed him the rest of the way out of the danger zone. 

It  _ also _ pushed him clear into a wall, but that was a detail best forgotten. 

"Sooo…" His fairy hummed, hovering inches from his cherry-red nose. "Got anything to say for that?" 

The boy opened his mouth, then closed it again with a shake of his head, sighing in defeat. 

She giggled. "So what have we learned today?" 

"Hngh." 

"That's right," she wagged a finger in his face, grinning widely. "Always look out for raining pebbles. You never know when one might catch you." 


End file.
